How to defuse tensions at work


It feels to many that global conflict, political division, job and cost of living insecurity and prejudice, as well as an increase in controlling, coercive behaviour and authoritarianism, are creating a perfect storm. In the workplace, this is being mirrored with communication breaking down, conflict escalation, isolation and seeking validation from those who share our own views.  

According to LiveCareer 87% suffer from work-related fears and Acas.org.uk estimates that approximately 485,000 employees resign each year due to conflict. 

So how can we achieve a workplace ceasefire and reduce tension?

The four primary reasons for workplace conflict:

  1. When there is power play between individuals.
  2. When there is a powerful desire to be seen as being in the right (morally, legally etc).
  3. When there are unmet needs and differing interests.
  4. When there is an interaction and communication breakdown, followed by demonisation and active alienation. 

Why is shifting workplace mindset from adversarial to collaborative so crucial?

Mediation is becoming a widely required business tool across the legal and commercial sectors in the 21st century. We have become professional jugglers of tasks, and we have so many choices and stresses it can be easy for others to influence, manipulate or bully us to suit their agenda and needs. 

In the Tomorrow’s Company Inquiry in 1995, one of the key findings was an adversarial approach is one of the main factors preventing companies from operating at their highest potential. Adversarial mindsets feed into the breakdown of communication and division creation. 

So often we are ill-equipped for challenges in the workplace

We need differing opinions, but obstinance, ignorance, societal divides and an inflexible viewpoint, combined with an inability to listen, will reduce productivity, collaboration and open and honest dialogue and will create an environment or culture of fear.  

‘The Nowhere Abyss’ is an immediate refuge but may be a place we later regret entering, rather than choosing to cross ‘The Bridge of Courage’. 

Many adversaries question that agreeing to a ceasefire makes you look weak.  The answer is no. It requires foresight and courage.  

So how can you secure an office conflict ceasefire?

  • Press the red button to stop escalation.  Step off the escalator and open the doors to discussion. Early resolution is the key to negotiating a ceasefire especially as we are currently living in a complicated cycle of crises and an age of disruption. 
  • Move from adversarial to collaborative to restore effective dialogue and interaction. Our instinctive reaction is always to be adversarial; to fight, flight, or freeze and shut down. But when we are actively kinder and calmer and able to have conscious collaborative reactions and behaviours then we can reach a better outcome for all sides, including connection, constructive decision-making and positive relationship building.
  • Prepare for dialogue, not for war. Start with the future in mind because conflict can be positive if it catalyses change. See conflict as an opportunity to co-create and know that resolving conflict is a journey to gaining fresh perspectives. 
  • Acknowledge if a conversation didn’t happen or didn’t happen well. Realising this enables us to take a breath and reset and reopen dialogue, this time through listening, reflecting, and responding.
  • Encourage respectful differing of opinions by challenging norms and single narratives to find a better way forward.  This is particularly important for leaders. 
  • Show commitment. A good way to do this is for organisations to have a pledge which outlines, lives and breathes commitment to work values usually fare better. 
  • Encourage training in mediation and communication, or access someone who can facilitate an open dialogue. 

How can we do better in times of change, challenge and crisis? 

So often we are ill-equipped for challenges in the workplace, and we have issues, experiences and trauma that shape our decisions, but we can have the courage and commitment to leave behind whatever no longer serves us well. 

The sense of travelling lighter and not being weighed down by the baggage of ill feelings and conflict can be liberating, as well as productive.  



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