Emotional intelligence is a bandied-about term, as familiar in business language as ‘return to office’ or ‘hybrid working’. Yet familiarity doesn’t necessarily equate to understanding.
There are four basic components to emotional intelligence: Self-awareness, self-regulation, social sensitivity and empathy.
That last element – empathy – is the deeper of the four. Stanford University psychologist, Jamil Zaki, describes it as the ‘psychological superglue’ that connects people and underpins cooperation and kindness.
Why empathy matters
As to why it matters, Mindtools shares in its Catalyst research report that when managers lack empathy, their teams are 34% less innovative and 43% less engaged at work. These numbers are significant given that productivity levels directly impact business success.
The sticking point for many is a belief that high emotional intelligence is an innate quality – you are either born with it or you are not. Not only that but many professionals feel this so deeply they assemble their own barrier to developing and improving their EI skills. In essence, their guard is up.
Adding to this is the research that shows 80% of managers are promoted because they are good at their job, not because they want to manage people. This cohort gets to the top rungs while quietly ignoring the need to develop emotional intelligence along the way, and often get away with it.
The slow-burn approach is the only way to cultivate emotional intelligence. There’s no quick win available.
Managers say emotional intelligence is important, but don’t have it
Mindtools’ YouGov research shows that seven in ten managers agree empathy, self-awareness, self-regulation or social sensitivity should sit among the top five most important capabilities for managers. This is the case even if those managers don’t currently have EI skills themselves – or believe they can learn them. Instead, managers tend to focus on more practical, transferable and transactional skills, which are more associated with traditional management.These include capabilities such as goal setting, decision making and delegation.
This stagnated mindset is the obstacle that prevents many professionals from developing deeper and more insightful EI skills including empathy, active listening and self-awareness.
When one person alters the narrative, in time others follow – it’s a trigger moment in which dominoes begin to fall and the trend catches. It’s a slow process but not an impossible task.
How to build EI skills among your managers
First, demonstrate that empathy is a skill that can be cultivated and developed. Show your managers that they need not be calcified in their current mindset or behaviours towards others.
A simple step towards this includes educating yourself on others’ lives and reading literature from the perspective of other people in other cultures.For example, I recently read a book by Kia Abdullah reflecting on her life in the UK – it showed me how the impact of others’ behaviours can impact someone’s life over here.
Next, use case studies of how leaders have acted in certain situations to help inform better decision-making – it’s the Hawkeye moment of ‘Oh I see where I went wrong now’.
Owning up to and learning from mistakes is a great way to shape responses in similar future situations. This requires deeply exploring the approach and outcomes of past instances.
Over-empathising can obstruct your leaders from taking the right path, especially when it winds up upsetting people.
Is it possible to be too empathetic?
As with many soft skills, or ‘power skills’, there is also the danger of falling too far down the sliding scale. It is possible to be too empathetic and self-regulatory for managers and leaders who face hard, daily decision making.
Over-empathising can obstruct your leaders from taking the right path, especially when it winds up upsetting people. As with many things, it’s a question of balance and reading the room of what is needed.
Empathy among Gen Z managers
Emotional intelligence is a business topic often attached to senior leaders and managers, but you should also grow these slow-burn skills early on from the grassroots.
Fortunately, it’s well documented that GenZ are more in tune with their emotional intelligence than previous generations. Those up-and-coming managers and leaders already value emotional intelligence skills, so you can take advantage of the head start.
A note on faking it
Acquiring emotional intelligence won’t happen overnight. It’s not something people can fake consistently, and attempting this is a recipe for mistrust within relationships.
The slow-burn approach is the only way to cultivate emotional intelligence. There’s no quick win available, but nurturing empathetic managers is worth the time and patience for the all the business benefits it brings.
Your next read: How good are your listening skills?
